Welcome to the Third Annual Valentine’s Tactical Survival Guide hosted by Dr Dogberry and Dr Giggles. Both are experts in the field of love as evidenced by their experience.
Dr Dogberry has way too many years as a lovelorn advice columnist. These years have made him rather sarcastic and cranky, but he will endeavor to do his best.
Dr Giggles has recently obtained her PhD in lovelorn advice by being married to the same man for 27 years! That amount of
prison time…er…matrimonial servitude should count for something. Send us your letters and we shall put our heads together and determine the best course of action you should take.
Dear Love Doctors:
My wife has this crazy idea that I should make her dinner for Valentine’s Day! I’ve never so much as boiled a pan of water!!! What shall I do?
Clueless in the Kitchen
Dr Giggles writes:
Dear Can’t Boil an Egg:
Hire a caterer or go get a bucket of the Colonel’s finest. Make it a special night and spring for the extra krispy.
Dear love Doctors Giggles and Dogberry, I've been divorced now for several years. My wife ran away with a shoe salesman who had more money to spend on her than I did. Now, here's the real problem: My friends think it is their duty to 'set me up' over dinner at their place with women they think I might be interested in meeting or dating. They are assuming that I'm lonely or something. These kinds of 'set ups' are more than uncomfortable for me. How can I avoid these horrible "I want you to meet a friend of mine; you'll really like her" events in the future? Thank you for your assistance and a tired of getting 'set up'
Dr. Dogberry responds:
Frederico, I can surely see the dilemma you face. What I find most disturbing about your 'friend's' good intentions is that their nosy motivation is quite demeaning. Are they assuming that you, somehow, are unable to find compatible women to date on your own? Are you so pitiful that you can't get a woman to date you unless you are drug, kicking and screaming, to their house for dinner. Your friends are probably also thinking the prime specimen they have found for you it at least as pitifully lonely as you are. I hereby give you permission to be officially and outrageously insulted by your friend's behavior and motivation. I suspect you simply aren't that isolated and hard up that you have to date the poor, miserable women your friends drag over for you.
Dr Giggles writes:
Dear Mr Lumply the Lonely Hearted:
Tell your friends that you have ordered a Russian bride and should arrive any day now. That ought to get them off your back.